i’m back y’all. poop.

today i participated in an easter egg hunt. against myself. and i lost.

the other day my mother told me that a girl she babysits saw me from a not so far distance and thought i was a grandma. that about sums up the week.

today in the hallway i was talking to ehsan about soup and bread night and the intricacies of the event and he just stopped me and was all im not listening to a word youre saying. so then i sat down next to emmeline on the bus and started complaining about how no one ever listens to me, and right in the middle of my rant she interrupted me to say “look theres an empy seat you can sit in.”

last night we were playing catchphrase and the description given was ‘what is she’ (points to me) and anu’s first guess was vermin. and she was right. that is all.

This weekend I went to Chicago with a few lovely people. While we were waiting in the line at the Shedd I decided to pass the time by sharing some of my horse sayings, including, “You can bring a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.” This of course prompted Mac to say “you can bring a Kate to water but you can’t make her drown” I then proceeded to slap her, which apparently left a bruise. Dear old Dan and I were walking along arm in arm when he said that everyone walking past us probably thought we were an item. When I asked if this bothered him he said no, because people would simply think “wow, he isn’t shallow at all.” But perhaps the greatest hardship I faced throughout the day was being told to stop my inspiring performance of My Heart Will Go On before I even reached the most intense part.

today i was told im a grandmother. one that cant even bake good cookies. i was then told id be put in a nursing home and have the plug pulled.

today when i tried to tell my infamous bus story-you dont need the details, it basically involves a young maiden’s (me) struggle to catch a bus that is about to leave without her, and her unwillingness to give up-i was overpowered by certain others’ desire to create a new bus story, which began with my entering an early morning fondue party and ended with the licking of chocolate off a silk and fur robe while sitting on the lap of a driver in a two-part driving machine. sometimes i just really dont know.

every day after school anita (i know, her again), asks me what spanish books we need to bring home. every day i tell her, even though she is fully sitting in class and could take a glance at the board and know what our homework is. today i wasnt in class, so i asked her to tell me after school at our lockers what the homework was. she said she’d be there, but then she wasnt. so then i couldnt bring the books home and therefore cannot do my homework. and to top it off, she had the audacity to ask me about another spanish assignment. im beginning to think this should be called The Woes of Having Anita Around.

today, anita held a mirror up to my face and said, ‘now you’re pretty.’ i then proceeded to chase her around the locker room, eventually backing her into a corner in fright. i realize this may not make me sound like the victim, but i am.